Response to audism

Asking Change dot org to avoid endorsing less than optimal language, and even asking people to think about issues of culture and choice, does not equal "demonizing" anybody's parents. The sooner that conclusion-jump goes away, the better off we will all be.

a mother, who gets that when people teach me what it's like for kids who are not white, that is not the same thing as me being attacked/demonized/silenced etc.

Also, I'd like to say that as someone who is disabled, I am very much in a position to judge non-disabled parents for what they do to their disabled children. And it is my RESPONSIBILITY to speak up for the disabled child.

Thing is, when we point any parental decision, motivation or mentality out as being problematic, or even less than an absolute and indisputable truth, we get accused of "judging." And sometimes that, or even actual calling out and judging, needs to happen. Parents aren't universally perfect and benevolent by virtue of being parents.

Also, what someone chooses for themselves making an informed decision and what a person's parents or other relatives want and choose for them are two completely different things, especially when it's stuff that isn't lifesaving or preserving existent functioning.

"parents are not benevolent because they are parents, and parenting decisions are not made in a vacuum separate of oppression. No disabled or Deaf person should be shamed or judged for their decisions, but able-bodied and hearing people can and should be. If you benefit from a system of oppression, the power is on your side, so it is not a 2-way street where everyone is equal. This culture of calling oppressed people "judgmental" for calling out stuff that upholds their own oppression is fucked up. Nondisabled people, even parents, get to be and should be called out on ableism. Also, calling people heroic just for existing as disabled people is hella creepy. Like, cool we don't get to have autonomy (get institutionalized), so being your inspiration is like what? our consolation prize?"

I am not Deaf and I don't think it would be right for me to speculate on what I would do. However, I am disabled, and on that level, I can say that my body is complex and I am more interested in a world that respects that than a cure. Deaf and disabled get to decide what they want for their bodies.

Science and what is pursued under the rubric of science is influenced by social norms and beliefs.

Science also does not exist in a vacuum, and science has been used to hurt and kill marginalized people, such as scientific racism and eugenics. Again, maybe folks should defer to Deaf people on this issue.

A parent telling their child that the child needs to go through surgery to be accepted/acceptable, rather than fighting for their child against an unaccepting society, can hurt like hell.

Instead of empowerment there is the constant need to feel like you have to be fixed.